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Ashes And Broken Things

by The Pandys

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1.
Maybe one day I'll stop writing these songs About death and my questions about God Maybe one day I'll accept that I've lost And take a job working midnights at some factory But I hope I die Before I realize it's over And I'll never be anything unique Because it's been fifteen years at least Since I've smiled genuinely Maybe more I just can't remember
2.
I'm not ashamed of who I am I'm ashamed of what I've done The lies, the lust, the rust That covers everything I touch I keep trying to be a light With nothing but love upon my lips But I'm so full of hate And it makes me fucking sick I'm just trying to believe In anything at all A reason to keep from letting go Because I'm struggling to see The light in all this dark God, I could use some hope I found company with sinners With the liars and the thieves Because they came with no agenda And had no judgement in their speech What the hell makes me deserving Of any better end Than those who love without condition Despite my self-righteousness
3.
Reprise 01:22
4.
Small Town 04:06
I met Jesus in a small town I was sleeping on her couch After a night of heavy drinking And we sipped the blood of the night Maybe had a bit too much wine But it was worth the feeling Oh, my God, where do you go? I feel I'm running down an endless road Oh, my God, where did you go? Did I lose you when I left home? I found Jesus in the deep south Smoked cigarettes in his house After a night of barely sleeping And we talked of all the reasons To live life with no regrets And it was quite revealing I've been searching for Something that means something more Than all these empty words Empty beliefs And I've no wisdom to impart No answers for a troubled heart If I haven't found you yet I've just been too afraid to see
5.
I pulled the curtains To let the light in But it seems the sun is Always hiding I'm not looking for someone to save my life I just get lonely sometimes If there's a love that's Living inside us Why do I feel so Uninspired? Please don't ask me what goes on inside my mind I couldn't tell you most of the time But there's a wind blowing hard through the city That holds the love that surrounds you and me There's a voice ringing out in the distance Saying, "you will feel alive again" Salvations coming It's so close I can taste it Because I'm a mess I spend most of my nights wasted There's a voice that cuts straight to my heart Saying, "you will feel alive again"
6.
I cut open my side On this rope I've been trying to climb It just got tangled around my feet So I put my faith in doubt As I tore my stitches out It was the only thing that seemed concrete I'm looking for truth Through painted windows I can't see nothin' up ahead While my thoughts roll Down the east coast I get lost inside my head I don't remember when I lost my mind Maybe summer '99 Looking for identity I may have found it once or twice But it was pointless It was trite It didn't mean that much to me
7.
One day one of these car crashes will kill me And I'll be sleeping with a smile on my face My wasted life only a memory Finally free from all my chains Oh, it's all for nothing Oh, it's all so meaningless In this life If I've learned just one thing It's that I haven't learned a damn thing yet Someday I'll settle down and quit my drinking Find a wife Maybe have a couple kids But if you were a mother Would you still feel just as young? And if I was a father Would I still hate what I've become?
8.
She wore her sympathy Like flowers in her hair They were such pretty things But never were quite real Everybody knows that it's not right Everybody knows it's just a lie He sang the sweetest speech With honey on his tongue Like every word he spoke Was written down in blood Everybody knows that it's not right Everybody knows it's just a lie The devil in my head Tells me to smash my teeth "It's just a simple step You won't even feel a thing" Everybody knows that it's not right Everybody knows it's just a lie Everyone's a liar.
9.
Make Believe 05:15
It's a long road With a steep slope I've got a long way to climb But my legs won't Support the weight anymore Of this heavy heart of mine I lost hope With these hands around my throat How I tried to make believe Everything was fine I tried to speak But my words just shattered at my teeth What a tragic disappointment What a lie Oh, this life It's a stiff cold That moves through my bones I'm a sun that never shines I let it take hold Of this tired soul Because what's the point in trying? I keep losing hope I've got these hands around my throat How I tried to make myself believe That I'm doing alright I keep trying to speak But my words just shatter at my teeth It's a constant disappointment It's a waste of time Oh, this life
10.
There's a change in the weather There's a hole in my coat I can't say it gets better But I'm not sure that it won't So I'll build myself a fire With all the things that I love And I'll stand close beside you And try to keep my heart warm I have nothing left to say I have nothing left to give All my love has gone away All my money's spent There's a place deep inside me Where I keep all my ugly thoughts All the emptiness and sadness All the joy that I've lost And I try to never go there Keep it hidden in the dark But sorrow always seems to find me And running's getting hard I have nothing left to say I have nothing left to give I tried to drink it all away But I remember more than I forget
11.
I was once a river I was once the tallest tree I was once a mountain Now I'm not much of anything But dry ground And broken stones I'm wearing down To the bone I waited for an angel I waited for relief I was once so faithful Now I'm not much of anything But dry ground And broken stones I'm wearing down To the bone I was once so hopeful I was once so free I was once a fighter Now I'm not much of anything
12.
I'm Tired 04:51
I am a flame That flickers and fades As the world is slowly crumbling While the rain and the winds Come to steal my soul again They leave only ashes and broken things I've been wasting my years On all of these troubles and tears My heart is a weight in my chest That I can't shake at all And it leaves me broken and sore And I don't think I can take anymore If this is what living is Then I've had enough of it I don't want to be sad anymore I don't want to sit silent and ignored I want to get back my sight Maybe do something right for once I'm tired of breaking all of my plans But I'm tired of doing the best that I can Will my heart ever change? Do I have what it takes To be satisfied? I am a flame That flickers and fades

credits

released December 27, 2013

Written, Recorded, Mixed, and Mastered by Andy Maitland
Artwork by Dave Daniele

Bass: Dave Daniele
Violin: Neall Seamus Gleason
Guest Vocals: Nick Adkins, Neall Seamus Gleason
Everything Else: Andy Maitland

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